


Words on Parenting

by Kaoupa



Series: A Pink Planet [10]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: A lot of people show up, Complicated Relationships, F/F, F/M, Pearl/Pink Diamond mentioned, Steven has so many Moms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-12-31 21:59:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18322784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaoupa/pseuds/Kaoupa
Summary: No matter the Universe he comes from, Steven Universe always has a ton of moms. (Only ever one dad, though. Is that "genderist"?)





	Words on Parenting

Most children have two parents when they are growing up, typically their biological parents (mom and dad on Earth, usually. Or sometimes “mom and mom” or “dad and dad.”) But whichever the case, most people have only two parents watching out for them.

Sometimes, they have more, though, or less - family is not just limited to the people who directly gave you life (and sometimes, unfortunately, the people who gave you life can’t really be counted as family). Aunts, uncles, siblings, cousins, people who aren’t even related directly by blood, can all be counted as family (or “parents”) of one kind or another.

Before he turned one earth cycle old, Steven had probably already set a record for how many parents he had.

  
  
  


The number of guards outside the room would have astonished nearly anyone in the Gem empire - most gem nobles, at most, had less than a half dozen gem bodyguards, often just Rubies. Going into an active war zone (something the Empire hadn’t done in a very long time) was the only way to increase that number, typically. 

Without war zones, adding humans in often was the only way to gain more bodyguards. And they could increase the numbers to maybe about a dozen total, and that was often for people who were either only very paranoid or very influential (or both). Given that there hadn’t been any widespread acts of war or rebellion for more than ten thousand years, most of the Empire rarely bothered with more than four at a time.

Most of the time, the Diamonds, who most people would probably expect to have the most bodyguards, had almost none. 

Though to be fair, woe came to anyone who tried to fight them directly in the first place without a warship backing them up.

In each one of the Earth Palaces of Pink Diamond, there was a specific room that was used whenever Pink Diamond was there. And when she was there, there were, at all times, no less than a dozen combined guards, often Quartzes, stationed outside and inside, all of them personally vetted by either Pink Diamond or Pearl.

The two gems on the inside, both with their gemstones on their navels typically, like Pink Diamond, had arguably either the best or worst jobs of the lot. 

Mostly depending on how good they were at dealing with human infants.

(Another very important part of whether they were stationed inside or outside the room).

“Come on, say daddy, Steven!”

As he was bounced in his father’s arms, with Greg cooing at the infant, Steven smiled back at him (and to a degree, the Rose Quartz and the Ruby that were standing protectively at the door). But, to Greg’s mixed joy and disappointment, that was all he did. “Aw…”

Technically, gems who were on guard duty were supposed to be attentive at all times. Their charges and leaders would both be upset if anyone they were protecting got hurt. And they would both be upset too - very personally - if Pink Diamond’s son was hurt.

But, well… neither they, or any of the other gems assigned to guard Steven and Greg, could turn down the chance.

“Say,  _ Rose, _ has he ever talked while you were around? I was just wondering, you know?” Ruby asked in a loud voice that none of the people in the room could possibly have not overheard. Steven included.

“No,  _ Ruby _ ! He has not!” Rose Quartz replied just as loudly, before she lowered her voice and hissed to her fellow guard “ _ Why are we doing this again _ ?”

Greg turned around, giving them both a look between amused and unimpressed - not a easy thing to do, but the career singer/parent somehow had managed to pull it off. “Are you two trying to get my son to say your names before he says mine or his mother’s?”

Ruby did her best to pull off a look of innocence.

Rose ruined it with her look of triumph, and loudly pounding a fist into her other hand while saying “Oh yeah! That’s it!”

  
  
  


“WAAAAAHHH!!”

“Shhhhh, come on Steven, calm down, calm down…” Steven might have started to not need a wet nurse over the last few months (the woman in question had left for Earth again, saying she missed her family), but that didn’t mean he didn’t miss her often. And the Moss Agate and Carnelian who were watching him tonight were rapidly discovering that he didn’t want to calm down, it seemed.

“Oh stars, Mossy, is he ever going to stop?!” Carnelian had emerged on Earth with all her sisters, so she wasn’t exactly new to dealing with human or hybrid babies. But she had always forgotten whenever she had to stop dealing with them how unreasonable and _ loud _ they could be.

“I don’t know, Carnelian!” The not-quite an Agate replied, rocking her Diamond’s child as best as she could. 

“Move aside!”

At the voice coming from behind them, Carnelian and Moss Agate both froze in place for a second, before Carnelian swiftly bowed. “Pink!”

“Er, I’m sorry, but…” Moss Agate looked and felt rather awkward as she did her best to rock Steven and calm him down.

“Just hand him over, if you would.” Pink Diamond held her hands together towards the gem holding her son, looking amused.

“ _ Thank you _ !” was the reply, with Moss looking perhaps a little too relieved as she handed the wailing baby over to his mother, who began rocking him like Moss Agate had. The cries did not die down even now that Steven was in her arms, but the Diamond didn’t seem to mind that as much as her gems had. 

“Er, permission to take a break?” Carnelian looked roughly as awkward as Moss Agate - but she had been dealing with Steven for the last ten minutes and just couldn’t take the wailing any more.

“Go ahead.” Pink Diamond absently stated, focused on rocking Steven despite his cries. “Shh, shhh… mama’s here, sweetie…”

  
  
  


Garnet was an oddity, even on Earth. Cross-gem type fusions were… not tolerated, to say the least, in gem space.

“Not tolerated”, in this case, roughly translated - no, it almost exactly translated to “shattered upon existing, under official Diamond Authority policy.”

And even on Earth, this still (technically) applied. Pink Diamond’s many protests about how Earth was her world had done nothing to dissuade the other Diamonds from making it clear that the results that she was delivering with her methods were the only reason that her worlds had not been… rerailed to something more appropriate.

Knowing what they’d probably do if she protested any further, Pink Diamond had, officially, given up.

Unofficially, the story was very different. Unlike most gem planets, surveillance was… well, it was still almost everywhere on Earth in the cities. But that was it. And as long as nobody noticed, or found a reason to go back over the records...

Well, it was only fusing if you got caught.

Unapproved.

“Garnet, make sure that he’s safe and doesn’t wander off, okay?”

Garnet had already slung Steven into a satchel over her shoulder. “Don’t worry, Greg. I've got all of my sights on him. He’ll be fine.”

The tiny Diamond giggled and poked the dark mass of hair on the gem’s head. Garnet chuckled a little.

  
  
  


“So, has he said anything yet?” Rainbow Opal was perhaps a little too eager for news of Pink Diamond’s son. But considering that most of the gems in the break room were also doing a poor job of hiding that they were listening too, maybe she was just the one who had said what they were all thinking.

“Nope. He’s just giggling and wailing like always.” Carnelian absently replied, trying mostly to focus on the game of shogi she was playing with their resident psychoanalyst.

“Well, he’s only ten months old, right?” One of the Rose Quartzes sitting down in the corner pointed out. “Kids are supposed to start talking by now, I know… but not all the time.”

“But he’s the prince, right? He’s going to have our Diamond’s gem! He should be smarter than humans at this age already!” This outburst, coming from the Ruby who was watching the shogi game, got several looks from the other gems towards the gem in question. 

She looked back at them with her eye and gem, not really repentant for her words. “What? Hybrids get gemetic stuff from their parents! Even if he doesn’t have her gem yet… he’s still a Diamond! He has her intelligence and is the closest to her mind, he should be acting like her! And she was definitely smarter at that age than humans who have to mature to think!”

A few of the newer gems in the room started to nod along with the eyeball Ruby’s statement. Most of the gems could sort of see the point that she was making, however speciesist it was.

Rainbow Opal, however, couldn’t stop a snort from emerging. She abruptly remembered the last report she’d gotten from Black Opal, the palace’s two-hundred year old head therapist, with their leader’s permission.

Apparently, Pink Diamond’s last session with her had mostly consisted of their leader going on a lengthy rant about her “co”-rulers of their Empire, and drawing with watercolors.

_ Really… He’s probably acting juuust like she did at that age, now that I think about it... _

  
  
  


_ Splash! _

“Were you good for Lapis, Steven?” Greg picked up his soaking-wet son from the small artificial oasis he’d been soaking in at the Desert Palace.

“Baba.” Even a gem’s universal understanding of written and spoken language wouldn’t have helped them understand whatever it was Steven had said. 

Greg, however, either didn’t need that translation or saw something in his words that was not there yet. “That’s right, it’s daddy!”

Steven just looked confused, but smiled regardless.

“It’s fine. He was really sweet.” Greg gave a polite nod to the blue gem who flew over to them, before she smiled at the baby and made playful baby-talk. “Awen’t you jwust the best baby evewuh for Wapis Wazuli?”

Steven cooed and reached out at her, before clapping his hands.

“Aaaww…” Smiling back at him, Lapis gestured briefly and brought up a ball of water from the pool, before advancing it towards the baby in his father’s arms.

“Whoa, whoa!” Greg hastily backpedaled, to Lapis and Steven’s surprise. “I mean, it’s nice and all, but we’ve gotta dry him…” He trailed off awkwardly.

While he had been talking, Lapis had been multitasking pretty well. Partly, by keeping the ball of water just out of Steven’s reach, and turning it into a variety of shapes - a snowflake, what appeared to be a musical note, and an impressively complex fern. 

The other part of her multitasking was giving Greg the flattest look he’d seen in his life.

“Yeah, sorry.” He chuckled awkwardly at the deadpan stare that Lapis Lazuli was giving him. 

“Pink didn’t exactly fall in love with you for your intelligence, did she?” Lapis knew that everyone had days when they weren’t at their best, but...

“Not really, I guess…” Greg chuckled awkwardly, before turning back to Steven. “Come on, say dada!”

Lapis looked somewhat pleased as she watched, thinking to herself.

_ He’s gonna say “lala” first, I bet. _

  
  
  


Almost all of the gems who had emerged as part of Pink Diamond’s court had long since adjusted to life on Earth and the other four worlds they held, strange as they may have been compared to the rest of the Authority’s worlds. The newcomer gems… often had issues with the humans who also lived under the Pink Court’s banner, though, but usually those issues either faded with time, or got them reassigned to parts of the world where most of the population was composed of gems. Granted, most of those gems were “outcasts” from the other Courts in the first place, which was something that really could describe most of the people who served Pink Diamond.

Gems from the other Courts who were visiting Earth for diplomatic purposes, for short times, tended to leave Earth with stories that had more than once been treated as horror stories by the loyal gems under White Diamond, Blue Diamond, and Yellow Diamond. Examples of why the Pink Court had yet to expand beyond a mere handful of planets, for how could any Diamond worthy of the name tolerate such degeneracy? Organics existing and working with gems? At least none of the organics had ever had any truly high-ranking position, to ensure they knew their place.

(They conveniently ignored how White Diamond had mostly declared that Pink Diamond’s actions would be tolerated as long as she got results, and how the Kindergartens on her worlds had estimates saying they could easily support the creation of new gems for potentially as long as they had life on them).

(Or the many gems, high-ranking and not, that flowed to the star-flower banner, ensuring that Pink Diamond had never had any reason to replace any one of her higher-up gems due to a shattering for failure).

  
  
  


“Gaba boo!” Steven looked fascinated with the tiny things hanging above him from the mobile in his crib, not really noticing the color they were in as he played with them.

“Hey, little man.”

The eleven month-old child stopped at that, and looked around. There was nobody there. The confusion vanishing from his mind, he returned to giggling as he looked back up, swatting at the purple mobile.

Or rather, the Amethyst mobile.

And sure enough, half an hour later, Steven had fallen asleep in his grandiose crib, with Amethyst, as well as one of her older sisters, watching him from the sides of the door.

“So, what was that for again?” Amethyst 8XE asked with a puzzled look.

“Gotta win the pool, sis! I was betting his first real word would be “Amethyst” or something like it.” Amethyst grinned at her sibling, her short form not much bigger than Steven’s.

“What’s everyone trying to get, anyways?”

Amethyst’s explanation of how the gems who got the closest guess to when and what Steven’s first words would get a year's pick for Palace shifts was interrupted by the child who the bet centered around waking up.

  
  
  


Pearl’s duties, technically, didn’t include watching over Steven. That was meant to be Greg’s job, most of the time. Or Pink’s, when she could spare the time to get away from her workspace.

But Greg was currently doing his job, and was off recording a few new songs for the sound recording (Music! Yes, that was it) culture on Earth, and Pink was doing hers as well. Neither of them were going to be done anytime soon, too. Whenever Greg was busy, Pink always made sure that she was busy too, so they could arrange to be together more easily. 

Not that Pearl minded (much. Anymore…). She had plenty of memories of her time with her Pink Diamond, and she’d make a lot more in the future.

For now, she had new memories to make.

“Hi, Steven! Who’s just the cutest, littlest Diamond?” Pearl rhetorically asked, not really expecting an answer.

But to her surprise, she got one. 

“Meh!” It could have been a sneeze, it could have been a baby’s attempt to say “me!” 

Pearl wasn’t sure, either way.

To her sadness, though, despite trying for several hours more, she wasn’t able to get him to say it again.

  
  
  


“WAAAAAH!” The cry was long familiar to the guards in the Moon Palace. Especially for that day when one of the Rubellites had changed the alarm siren to sound like Steven wailing.

Although seeing Greg run all over the base had been funny till he (and the rest of his caretakers, plus their Diamond) caught on...

“Go get someone.” Jasper had already started talking as soon as Steven woke up, knowing what was probably going to happen next. Her skinny sibling was already heading down the hall, to find either their Diamond or her consort - or maybe Pearl.

There was only one Pearl who worked at the Moon Palace, so specifying which wasn’t necessary.

Sighing, she walked into the nursery, to try, for a few moments at least, to calm down Steven Diamond Universe. “Come on, little Diamond…” She muttered, picking up the hybrid infant from his crib, and awkwardly trying to rock him. She’d never really been good with babies - it wasn’t that they didn’t like her, it was more that she wasn’t sure how to deal with them crying besides rocking them awkwardly and talking.

Which was what she was doing right now, really.

When would someone who knew what they were doing get here?

“WAAAAAAAAHHHH!!”

“Uh, calm down, please, hey…” Continuing to rock him back and forth, Jasper didn’t really notice for a few seconds that he had seemingly stopped crying. When she did, however, she stopped in her rocking of him, and looked down to see what was happening.

He was looking at her face, for some reason.

“Something up here you’re interested in?” She muttered, getting her face a little closer to the kid. And sure enough, he started to make grabbing motions as soon as she did.

Towards her gem, which made her pull him away from her face again. “Don’t touch my gem, kid.”

Steven looked like he was about to start crying again. Jasper tried not to let the youngest Diamond’s tears get to her.  She didn’t succeed. 

“Arrghhh…” Jasper muttered to herself, but she nevertheless brought Steven back up. Almost instantly, his angry look vanished, and he started waving his arms up towards her gem again.

“Gem!”

That got Jasper’s attention for a second. Had he just said his… “first word”, her Diamond called it? Well, he’d been “talking” for a while, but this was the first time he’d said something this clear, as far as she knew.

“Gem!”

And there he went again.

Well… her Diamond would probably forgive her if she interrupted her usual work for this, right?

  
  
  


One month later…

“Dada!” Pink Diamond couldn’t stop herself from pouting when Steven, still playing “hand-pat” with his father, ignored her again.

Steven didn’t seem to notice at that point. Greg did, though, and he sent her an apologetic look as he pulled Steven up and onto his lap. “Hey, Steven, you want to go see mama?”

Steven didn’t reply. He just looked confused again. Pink Diamond felt her metaphorical heart sink a little again. “Steven, I’m mama!”

Steven didn’t say “mama”, but he stuck his arms out towards her with a smile on his face. Her “heart” felt a little lighter.

“Here you go, Rose.” Greg cheerfully handed off their son into his mother’s arms, and Pink carefully rearranged Steven in her arms, making sure that she wouldn’t lose hold of him and possibly endanger him. Babies were so fragile.

“He’ll get used to you eventually, Rose. Don’t worry, right?” Greg was sitting next to her now, maybe half her height, but filled with just as much love as she was, if not more. “I mean… he sees me a lot more than he gets to see you, and he’s not exactly capable of consciously recognizing stuff yet.”

She knew that, mentally. It didn’t help much, by itself, but she still wanted to hug Greg for reminding her - but she couldn’t just put Steven away from her. So she settled that internal debate by putting Steven on Greg’s lap, and then she picked him up. Greg’s “whoof!” of surprise made her smile.

“Should we get some rest, you think?” She smiled down at the human she’d fallen in love with.

“Er, with Steven right by us? I’m not sure we’d get any at all.” Greg looked somewhat awkward as he cradled the baby.

“Let’s find out!” She sang, carrying the two of them off.   
  


**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if this turned out well, or anything, but I couldn't find any motivation to write the main story for "A Pink Planet", and this took me only a few days to write. I also did a lot of this when I was fairly tired, so that has probably had an effect on the quality of writing. Oh well. It's out now, tell me what you think.


End file.
